Learning to Fall

This seasons change to Fall has been symbolic for me. Summer was a bust, having started feeling ill in June. I remember laying out with Emily on the 4th of July, heart racing, and feeling like I was going to pass out just laying there in the sun. It's not unheard of to get too much sun, so I went inside to take a break. I couldn't feel my left foot, my leg was tingling, and there were stabbing pains in my body. I faintly clamored up the stairs to the bedroom, where I fell asleep almost instantly. When I woke up an hour later feeling weak, pretending I felt fine, we went to get fresh juices from the local health food store. It's interesting how our bodies tell us what we need, if we only listen. Now I know that my thyroid was not functioning properly, and there was a virus aggravating my nervous system among other things. On top of that, I was eating gluten not knowing any better. 

Onto better topics, following the AIP protocol is not a difficult as I anticipated. When I picked up Body Belief by Aimee Raupp, I projected I'd give the plan 3 weeks. Just enough to heal the inflammation. Then, I met someone who taught me that we overestimate what we can do in the short term, and sorely underestimate what we can do in the long term. Now, 3 months later, I am still following an AIP protocol. The most important thing I have learned is that healing is not a perfect upward trajectory. There are peaks and valleys. I am better than I was 3 months ago, and in another 3 months I will better than I feel today. Reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can, is crucial. The best you can is THE best. There is nothing more. There is a book I am reading by Philip Simmons, called Learning to Fall: The Blessings of an Imperfect Life, and a quote really stood out to me;

"I'd like to think that learning to fall is more than merely a matter of posing, more than an opportunity to play it for laughs. In fact, I would have it that in the way of our falling we have the opportunity to express our essential humanity."

I find peace within the valleys of my healing, as well as atop the peaks. It's important not to be too hard on yourself, no matter what it is you are achieving. Notice I did not say "trying" to achieve. No, if you are moving forward, you are achieving :)